Glurge: "If You Are Not Ashamed, Pass this On..."

My wife just mentioned a term I hadn’t heard before: Glurge. But I’ve certainly experienced it. Now you can, too…   You’re welcome. The image below is exactly how this came to me.

I struggle to comprehend the utter desperation of this writer. I don’t even care if the incident described happened in Kingston, Tennessee. It’s probably fabricated. My sense of it is that a public school principal who gave such a speech would lose their job–quickly. But perhaps not in the South.

It doesn’t matter whether it’s true or not. What’s important is to observe what happens when a majority develops a persecution complex. How absurd. There are churches on nearly every street corner in the South. Christians are literally overwhelmed with places to pray. From what I understand, workplaces are pretty religious, too. First thing you’re asked by co-workers is what church you attend.

So it’s a good thing the law provides that place of refuge, where you just can’t lead public prayers where people of other faiths or of no faith might be present. The Constitution requires we recognize the public space as neutral territory.

(Thank you Thomas Jefferson and the rest!)

But that’s not good enough. These loons aren’t happy unless everyone is praying to the Christian god.  And persuasion has completely failed to bring this about. The legal system has ‘let them down’ by refusing to enforce it. So now it’s all about shouting to friends and family in 36-point colored italic script, trying to guilt them into further spreading their demands. Because God’s law trumps man’s law, of course.


Comments (19 comments)

Amaterasu / August 24th, 2009, 9:04 pm / #1

Enough to make you purge; that's glurge alright! Right on the mark Blacksun.

Camels With Hammers / August 24th, 2009, 10:40 pm / #2

Thanks! I needed that to get my blood all a-boiling. To return the favor, here is a comic strip version of one the most notorious Christian glurges of all time


BlackSun / August 30th, 2009, 6:30 pm / #3

Good stuff.

peter / August 25th, 2009, 6:22 am / #4

"First thing you’re asked by co-workers is what church you attend."

Fortunately that has not happened to me in Canada yet – and I live in a community that has enough churches, including a sikh temple and several evangelical congregations – my wife even volunteers at the sally ann. Nobody tries to convert her, or me. Church here has more to do with community, less with belief.
I had and have some excellent working relationships and discussions with members of a few non denominational commune – several, actually. They were accepting – so was I. We agreed to disagree and worked happily ever after.

And what this idiot of a principal does not understand – freedom of religion includes freedom from religion.
I guess the rise of religiously unaffiliated seems to strike fear into the hearts of the theocratic wannabees.

BlackSun / August 30th, 2009, 6:32 pm / #5

They're so used to getting their way…

peter / August 25th, 2009, 6:24 am / #6

PSMr. principal – and I am not offended, but by showing me what kind of moron you really are, I just politely despise you.

NancyR / August 25th, 2009, 3:29 pm / #7

Ha ha ha. I remember when I had a job interview at a non-profit (NorthWest Medical Teams) in Portland, Oregon, and one of the questions was, "Do you have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ?" Of course I said 'yes' — it's a good think he didn't ask What Kind of personal relationship!! Frankly, I was better at praying in our staff meetings than the rest of those guys — I'd been trained at CUT! Hey, I can work up religious fervor when necessary….

BlackSun / August 30th, 2009, 6:33 pm / #8

Well, "when in Rome," right?

The Nerd / August 25th, 2009, 6:41 pm / #9

My favorite are the "petitions". I change the topic/body of the email to whatever I like, leave the amassed signatures as they are, then hit Reply to All. Lulz ensue.

AngieJackson / August 27th, 2009, 3:59 pm / #10

Oh that's hilarious. Plus you could slap those signatures on actually important causes instead of just "I'm a pissed old lady!" chain mails. Except that'd probably count as identity theft, so forget I even said that. Hey, look over there – something shiny!

Camels With Hammers / August 29th, 2009, 2:48 pm / #11

That's awesome! hahahaha

David Vaughn / August 26th, 2009, 10:23 pm / #12

It's interesting that the more powerful and insulated fundamentalism becomes, the more persecuted it feels. Fear-based world views that reduce the individual to a common value within the group always seem to have the most sinister and diabolical enemies imaginable. This favors the more paranoid within the group and provides incentive to the hysterical and paranoid "heroism" portrayed by the courageous principal above. That his testimony provokes an unanimous reponse among his hearers demonstrates the appalling complacency of group believers. Afraid to have an original thought or doubt they are easily cowed into a monstrous denial of human decency. And all of this at a football game, no less!

BlackSun / August 30th, 2009, 6:38 pm / #13

Yes, I'm still not sure it happened. It seems like it would have made the news. There are many examples of such people being fired and having injunctions filed against them, such as this one:

AngieJackson / August 27th, 2009, 3:57 pm / #14

36-point colored italic script

Yup, that's about right. Somewhere in my early twenties I figured out that anything with epic typographical errors was probably psuedoscience, nonsense, or cult material.

The random capitalization is just upsetting.

BlackSun / August 30th, 2009, 6:40 pm / #15

Yes, Angie, I think that's right. The use of large, colored script or the Comic Sans font is pretty much a guarantee of nonsense.

There's a reason they talk about "sober" vs. "lurid" prose.

AngieJackson / August 31st, 2009, 2:07 pm / #16

Right, and this isn't sober at all. It's the email equivalent of a drunk dial.

thechaplain / September 1st, 2009, 1:45 am / #17

I got that email recently. I forget who sent it to me. I just scanned it quickly and hit the DEL button. The handy thing about computers is that I never miss the trash can.

BlackSun / September 1st, 2009, 4:03 pm / #18

Yes, well since I have gmail, I never delete anything, just archive it. I don't get these too often, and it was so over the top I thought it deserved a posting. You've got to give them props for font size. I think it's the biggest one I've ever seen.

Engineer-Poet / September 13th, 2009, 2:49 am / #19

How quickly soi-disant "Christians" forget to "Render unto Caesar what is Caesar's".  They're utterly unable to apply 'WWJD", which is to follow the rules of the government that's paying them when they're on the job.  If they want to prosyletize during work hours, they should apply to a church!

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